


Life After Happily Ever After

by TMoony



Series: Tangled in Frozen Week Challenge [5]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Pre-Frozen (2013), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMoony/pseuds/TMoony
Summary: My content for Day 5 of the "Tangled in Frozen Week Challenge." The One-Shot is based on the song "Life After Happily Ever After." Summary: The news about her parents reaches Elsa who finds herself alone in the world with her curse. Not able to bear it anymore, she decides to go a path with no return. Fortunately, Anna is also there.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney)
Series: Tangled in Frozen Week Challenge [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701244
Kudos: 10





	Life After Happily Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, we finally reached the last day of the Tangled in Frozen Week Challenge! But for my last story, I need to give a warning first. I gave this story this rating for a reason. It contains a darker topic than the other stories before. So please, if you think you can't handle it, please, don't read it!
> 
> And for the song, this is the only song I didn't listen to since I heard this is the final song. I didn't watch the series yet, but I plan to do so soon. So I only used the name of the song, but I don't know anything about the lyrics.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: suicide attempt

# Life After Happily Ever After

_‘It had been the day I heard the news. Those life-changing, heartbreaking, devastating news that let me crash to the ground right after I heard it. Kai and Gerda, almost crying along with me, had given me those sad faces. They had been pitying me. Even now they do. Now everyone does and I can't make it undone. It is too late, it happened and I have to go on with the consequences. It had been the day I heard the news from Kai and Gerda that my parents got lost at sea. It had been a normal day, but after that, it turned into a daydream full of tears and pain. A nightmare of hell. Dragged along with the scars of my heart and the cracks in my mind, I had left my room shortly after Kai and Gerda went away, to tell Anna as well probably, and found the only place where I could make the pain go away and force the nightmare to stop. I had to wake up from my life. Back then, I thought it was the only way. Now I know better, but I can't change it and can't keep my past-me from standing on that balcony.’_

She couldn't stop, she couldn't think, she couldn't go back when she felt the handrail pressing against her back and her hands. Her hands, however, still hidden under a lying layer of fabric of her gloves, were clinging on the cold metal. The gloves had given her hope, the last one she had, but when even they broke and let the ice out which covered her whole room now, she knew she had enough. It was enough and it had to end. This lying to the people she loved, her suffering. She didn't want to hide anymore, didn't want to tell lies about herself to stay hidden, and she didn't want to be alone anymore.

However, after knowing her parents wouldn't come back, she knew she was all alone.

She couldn't take it anymore and hoped to find the solution on the other end of the balcony's handrail, several meters beneath her feet between the grass on the earth, still wet from the dew. The cold chill of the morning breeze greeted her by blowing soft in her face and gave her a sniff of sea air. Fish. Salt. Freedom. It got mixed with the fresh wind coming from the forest. Trees and bushes and the song of the leaves dancing in the wind. Nature. She was exposed to all of this on. It was so strange and so different from her room which was probably still covered in her icy curse.

No longer hidden behind doors, she grabbed harder on the cold metal of the handrail and leaned forward. Just a bit to look at the ground under her. Her back pressing even harder against the handrail, her mind remembered her that she was on the wrong side of the handrail. Her toes and half of her feet were already touching nothing but air. She just had to let go and the nightmare would be over. She would wake up by eternal sleep. She would leave this world, going to a place where everything was different. Maybe as different as her. A perfect world where nobody ever cries and lies and suffers and hides behind doors.

She just had to let go. Nothing held her back. Not the lies, not her tears and not her powers, raging under her gloves and growling in her body.

One finger, her pinky, from both hands slipped from the handrail. She wondered if the handrail was freezing and icy. Hard to tell when one only touch things with gloves on one's hands.

Another finger, her thumbs, left the handrail. She tried to imagine how it would be to meet her parents again. What would they say, what would they do? Would she be, finally, able to touch them? To be able to embrace them and love them back. It sounded so beautiful.

Now, two fingers at the time followed their brothers. Wedding finger and middle finger. Funny, how such close neighbors could have so different meanings. Love and hate, very close to each other, never leaving each other's side. For Elsa, it was never a question of love or hate. It was fear here, fear there, fear everywhere. It was fear that almost made her last remaining finger, the index finger, let go, too, and she would have found herself on the ground, between the wet grass and the crawling ants and the buzzing bees. She would lie there, sleeping, finally sleeping without nightmares until Kai and Gerda would find her. But she hesitated, didn't let go because it was also fear that brought a thought into her mind.

What would Kai and Gerda do after they found her? Tell Anna.

_‘This one name in my mind had pulled me back. Not away from the balcony, but my mind had been frozen and my index fingers had glued me stronger on that handrail than any safety belt could ever do. I have no idea how long I had stood there, not moving, not thinking, not dying. Maybe only second, but it felt like years. What brought me back from my deepest and darkest place in mind had been a voice. A soft, clear and fearful voice I never thought I would hear ever again. And especially not at such an earlier hour of the day.’_

"Elsa?" A powerful twitch shot through her body. It felt like a lightning bolt had just hit her. Still holding herself with only one finger, she almost fell down but caught herself just in time. Looking down at the place she planned to go to sleep soon, she found that this place was already occupied.

Blue eyes, red hair and fear in her face that Elsa only knew from her own nightmares. She wanted to say something, anything. Her name or just a "Go away" but it seemed that her voice had already jumped and left her alone on the balcony.

"Elsa, what are you doing up there?" Anna asked again, holding both of her hands onto her chest, right above her heart. "This is not a good place for pretending to go mountain climbing. We have perfect trees in the garden for that." Anna smiled, even laughed a bit, but fear still reigned her eyes. Elsa was not sure if she was joking to lighten the mood and break the ice — not that a joke could break the ice in her life — or if her little sister had no clue at all what she was really doing here. What was she doing here anyway?

"Please, come down and I will show you the tree I climb on all the time, okay?" Anna said again, hoping. Something entered her mind, made her eyebrows jerk and frowning, and she added in a hast, "I mean, climb back first, and use the stairs to come down, okay? Please." She tried to smile again but it cracked. It looked like she had a salty candy in her mouth. Moreover, to Elsa's shame, it made the blonde aware that Anna indeed knew what she was doing here. Or more, what she was about to do. Anna shouldn't be here. It made it so much harder to let go while looking in her sister's pleading eyes.

Yes, she indeed pleaded. Yelling silently, wishing, hoping for her older sister to not do it, hoping her inner wishes would reach Elsa's mind. Elsa, on the other hand, already felt how her two fingers, hate and love, came back and placed themselves right next to the strong index finger, still holding on to life.

"Elsa?" Anna asked again since Elsa didn't reply yet. Her name on the lips of her sweet baby sister weld her whole hands on the handrail and made it impossible for her to let go. Her skin, the glove, the handrail, all become one. She felt the cold breeze in her face again and still smelled the trees of the forest and the salt from the sea. She felt the pulse of the earth and the breath of the wind, and she felt her own heart in her chest. Her chest; a place, cold and dark, filled with a void and where the lights had been blown out long ago had suddenly a beating, moving lump inside again. It filled her whole chest, pushed a warm sensation through her veins, making her whole body trembling. Her soul, which she thought was far beyond repair already, awoke by Anna and froze the dark thoughts in her mind that wanted to make her jump. She woke up from her nightmarish life without a jump.

She knew she was not healed from her nightmares. They could come back and they would, but for now, they were gone. But why? What were those feelings that changed everything?

Elsa looked down at Anna again, looked deep in her sister's blue eyes and suddenly knew where those odd and strange but yet familiar feelings came from. Anna put them there and made her remember the forgotten feelings she had been hiding in the deepest parts in her mind to fade away. Not now. Now a wall broke under Anna's gaze and everything burst out.

A single tear left Elsa's eyes as she realized that she was all wrong.

Anna gasped when she saw the tears escaping her sister's eyes, fearing the worse.

"Please, Elsa, I am here with you."

"No, you are down there."

"Do you want me to come to you? Do you want me by your side up there?"

"…yes."

_‘When Anna had arrived at the balcony, I already had made my way back to safety behind the handrail. Standing … no, cowering on the balcony, embracing myself and letting the tears cover my whole face, I only had noticed her when I felt her warm arms around my trembling body and I knew. I just knew my nightmare was over. My parents were gone and I had Anna back. It had been that day when I could have found my end. I didn't found my end. I didn't found my "happily ever after" either, though. My happy end was gone the very moment I had put my gloves on for the first time and close the door. It was over when I had hit Anna with my powers. What I found on that day was so more precious than a princess's happy ending. I lost my "happily ever after" a long time ago but got my life back. I found my life after I lost a happily ever after._

_Maybe it would be happy again one day._

_Maybe Anna will make it happy again._

_Maybe her happiness wasn't gone after all but just next door.’_


End file.
